Categories
Psilocybin Stories

The Psilocybin Experience Factors

2 years after my first psychedelic experience, in 2012, I traveled to Venezuela on a mission trip. Up to that point I had only taken magic mushrooms 3 or 4 times. 

I’ve never craved psychedelics. I’ve always appreciated them with a deep reverence after my first experience.

Anyway, looking through photo memories, I can see my charisma and trusting presence. I wonder if psilocybin makes us more of who we are? But do believe that it can awaken the Soul.

As I’ve gotten older, some of my trusting presence has faded or hidden. I think it’s still within me. Many people have mistaken my carefree presence as naive and weak, but now that it’s not as strong within me, I realize this was a strength.

I didn’t need or use any drugs during this trip. I really was high on life, and have been high on life much of my life. I had little to no anxiety, no worries, just carrying a deep trust I had for life, God, the Universe, which my psychedelic experiences made complete. I understood that everything in life was unfolding perfectly, trusting it without a doubt, which I believe is what allowed me to live so completely in the present moment, overflowing with life.

I was in a state of trust, and would like to practice trusting life again. I think as we age and experience inevitable moments of suffering, we trust less, we’re in our heads more, we miss out on joys otherwise to be had today – holding onto pains of our past or worries of our future. It’s not easy.

My once in a blue moon psychedelic experiences often return me to that state of trusting presence. My hope is that it can do the same for others, and that we can carry some of that trust into our daily lives.

I know several factors impact the experience – that the psychedelic experience is unique to the individual. Maybe the experience brings out more of who we already are, but maybe it can do more than that with the addition of a spiritual practice, or other practices. The presence of genuinely supportive people makes a difference.

I see this in reflection as I’m currently not in the all-around great shape I had been in most of my life, and not just physical shape but mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial — I’m still paying student loans but at the time it felt like free money. Haha.

Life is constantly changing. I’m not in the ideal shape I used to be in, but I’m happy with who I am and where I’m currently at. I accept myself, (I try to!), as I simultaneously (try to) take actions toward a more ideal future. Imperfect progress is a way toward progress, and I do imagine a better future, although 2020 hasn’t made it easy.

I hope you and yours are well.

I know that psilocybin alone isn’t the answer, though it is nice hearing about its decriminalizations and medicinal legalizations. I think it will help many people in the long run.

Cheers to your beautiful cosmic self,
Psil Silva

Categories
Psilocybin Stories

Spontaneous Solo Psilocybin Trip

I didn’t plan on taking the mushrooms that night. I fell asleep around 9pm and woke up around midnight. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to take the mushrooms I had, nearly 3.5 grams.

I began with 1 gram, and started feeling the effects after 30-40 minutes. I then took another gram, and then 30 minutes after that I finished it off.

At that point I was feeling pretty great. I was in a state of trust. It was now 1:30am or so, and I was just tripping in my room.

I got on instagram & checked out some psychedelic art photos(and posted them to my story haha). The colors were vibrant. Good vibes for sure.

Then there was a video of a couple whales swimming in the sky, which I thought was fucking awesome. I watched it and it led me to wondering about whales and how they communicate, and that we as humans aren’t the center of the Universe — that we aren’t even the center of this Earth.

Then I went back to looking at psychedelic art, which inspired me to listen to music. I turned on Xavier Rudd. I love his music, especially when I’m tripping. Then I saw a trippy video which make me think of Octopuses and how they communicate. I know that Octopuses are super smart, I wondered what their world is like, and thought about how cool it’d be to communicate with an Octopus.

Then I thought about how Octopuses or other sea animals could be aliens, truly. Haha. It’s possible, but not definite. Just a thought.

Then I looked in the mirror and took some pictures of myself. My pupils were huge! Haha, my eyes were pretty much all black.

At one point in the night I turned off all the lights and laid in darkness for 30 minutes or so, opening and closing my eyes. It was so dark that it didn’t matter whether my eyes were open or closed, all I could see was darkness. I then waved my arms in front of my eyes, it was cool because I couldn’t see my arms at all, even with my eyes open, but I was moving them right in front of my face.

Laying in the darkness also reminded me that I want to get one of those trippy psychedelic light things. Then sometime later I got up and turned one light on. Yea, just one haha.

It may have been around this time, 2-3 hours into the trip, standing in the lit area, where I had a sort of out of body experience. I didn’t feel like “me” in this moment. I felt like I was outside of myself, watching myself, and it felt like that was who my true self is.

Some thoughts of life, death, &humanity went through my mind as well, and the fleetingness of it all sank in. It didn’t bother me though, it was just like a “oh, yea. That’s what this is.” And then I had thoughts about how life will solve itself, even though we humans go around trying to figure it out. I had the thought that we don’t need to do anything, and life will be okay, and that’s true, but since we’re here, we might as well do something. 

And I had the thought that we are all life, whole, one. But we often forget that. It really sank in that yes, life will figure itself out, and that we are life, so we can help ourselves figure ourself out, because it’s going to happen anyway. We’re all one. We are life. Everything is okay.

The idea that life is communicating with us sank in, and again, that life is us…

But yea that it’s always communicating in one way or another. It communicates in symbols.

I thought about how future human societies will most likely be vegan, if we make it that far.

I took pages of notes. On one page I wrote:

“Love=No fear-an absence of fear
= No judgement-an absence of judgement

This can all come down to “No-self” = an absence of self.”

(^I can dive into all this another time, or message me if you want to talk about this stuff)

But yea I thought more about my individual death, the death of me, and what that means. It seems we have a striving to live, but we don’t live forever. It’s hard to fathom living life in a different form whether it’s in the form of another person, animal, or environment, but I think that’s what happens when we die. The individual is gone, but the whole is always here. & that’s who we are, the whole.

Another note I took:

“In The End
it all works out.
So breathe,
don’t worry,
Do what you Love.”

I love many things, especially tripping & experiencing life. No one is completely perfect, but I hope some of what I do helps you and all who read this & takes part in Psilocybin Stories.

Which while tripping I did think of the PsilocybinStories instagram page and decided I want to make it more Nature-like, green vibes, water flowing, mushrooms growing, a growing community, which won’t be perfect as I struggle with trying to make things perfect, but it’s making progress, as we all are in some way.

Speaking of progress, I’d love to do this full-time – be a Psychedelic Investigator, experiencing and researching in the realms of the psychedelic experience.

You can help me do this with a donation, and as a gift I’ll send you my phone notes, about 1,700 words of notes taken during an up&down/heaven&hell kind of trip.

Donate here via PayPal, which also accepts credit & debit cards.

Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing more Psilocybin Stories.