How do you like the vocal sound in this one? (when episode begins around 1 minute) Trying something new. Let me know via in the comments or via instagram DM @psilocybinstories. Thanks!
Learn how journaling can be used for therapeutic purposes as well as for making sense of your psilocybin experiences!
Make sure to have NO Responsibilities during the day of your trip.
Get everything figured out beforehand. Do your homework, write the paper, clean the house. Complete whatever responsibilities you have before tripping.
It can also help to have a couple days of no responsibilities, after your trip, but DEFINITELY NOT any during the day of your trip!
This allows your mind to relax into the moment. It allows you to not be distracted by unfinished tasks.
I’ve tripped the day before going into work, and I’ve tripped with days off after, and I prefer more days off to relax and reflect, but I’ve still had good trips knowing that I work the next day.
But I ALWAYS finish what I need to do before tripping.
1.3 grams of psilocybin
Tomorrow, or tonight if I’m not too tired.. I’ll make a thread of what happened the best way possible. You would not believe it.
Quick note: centralization is bad, that is why bitcoin will work. It helps us connect to what we used to have: Togetherness. Openness. Roots. I found so many answers.
Key word that stood out to me: searching.
You just won’t believe what happened or what I learned.
Alright let’s start. My breakthrough.
So we ate the shroom after taking a dip in the water and getting familiar with our surroundings.
Straight vibing and chilling. We get the effects such as: heaviness, more-so a body high.
We are just realizing shit and nature.
Later on.. idk how long we were just talking, looking around, realizing the beauty in everything. Then people came down. They’re clearly they’re the ones that maintain the falls because shitty ass humans leave trash and have no appreciation for nature, what its about.. i digress.
They came down to fix this bamboo raft because people use it for fun like us you know. It was super cool because they were family.. sort of like a tribe. NO ONE said anything. We all just mind our business and whatnot. While we trip and shit
There was even a “leader” of the tribe. He’s just an uncle or brother or something. They’re local people.
Didn’t say anything to us even tho we were throwing mandarin peels on the ground (fertilizer for plants 🙂
I finally take a dip in again. I grab a bamboo just to lay in the freshwater. Looking up at the greenery surrounding me. All the life. The breathing of leaves. Beautiful.
I try to tell my friends to come in, but don’t want to force because on shrooms you just accept. But in this case they were fine so I didn’t want to bother them.
The “tribe” people are done trying to fix the raft so they head up to the top of the falls.
There was one kid that was having trouble swimming because the river was getting intense and this is where I start tripping the fuck out. I started feeling it took on my feet and I was telling my friends that we should go up because there is possibly a flashflood.
The sun was going away and getting a little shady. The river current was getting stronger.
So I manned the fuck up and my first thought was: survival. I told my friends, “look i know im tripping out rn, but i think its a great idea to start moving up just in case”
Mind you, im on shrooms and so are 5 others. Im the one that took these guys on the hike. I was panicking hard af. One friend was just straight chilling with no worries.
But I had to take lead. I started pouring out half a gallon of water out into the river for lighter bag
I turned on my speakers and started hiking up the trail and told them, “Alright I got music. We are going to survive. We are not ending up on the news. Follow me and the sound of the music playing”
I was leader. This is where the breakthrough started.
In that moment I was like, “no one dies. i love life. we must enjoy everything and all the things. appreciate one another. we dont have a lot of time.” so on and so forth..
My mindset was strictly survival for my friends and I.
I threw all the bottles. Shirts, socks, whatever trash i could find and just throw that shit in my bag man. None of that belonged there. I was even thinking not even our shoes that we wear belong in that environment. Made-made bullshit.
I started trekking up the trail. I was fucking tarzan bro. Grabbing on branches and roots with one hand. Completely forgot there was a rope on the left side. I was even holding a waterproof bag full of ice and shit in one hand.
“Lets go guys we gotta get to higher ground!!”
Then we got up higher and at a safer area. Then I just sighed and told my friend closest to me “i know im tripping hard, but i love you guys and life. I wanted us to be safe”
He said “its okay man, don’t worry”
Then we got to the top-ish part of the falls where the “tribe” people were. They weren’t really tribe. Just locals, but I felt the energy and vibe that they had and connection to nature that WE ALL LACK.
They left when we got there.
It was beautiful. The scenery and everything. The flowers. The openness.
This is where I just sat and reflected. I actually teared up a bit.
I wish I recorded my thoughts and what I said. I’ll try to recollect.
I realized as a first-world country/citizen we keep searching for answers. We’re so disconnected from nature. I felt like the psilocybin made me a plant in a sense. It made me realize that we are all connected. We feed, reproduce, etc etc.
I started thinking about openness, which is what I was searching for trying to survive. We were down at the bottom of the falls, a little open, but a little enclosed. I wanted to get to the top. Be open, free, safe, more..
my friends looked like they never seen nature before. when we got to the top they just went in the water and laid there. I felt like a tribe leader and leading them back to our roots as a species.
Pure bliss. I started thinking about openness and how we all need to see this beautiful place and take care of our earth. We need to share and be at peace with one another. Our problems are so small. We’re so boxed in.
Then I started thinking about how centralization is FUCKED. Government control, police, money, our phones and narcissistic mfs. We humans keep searching and think we know so much. Searching for closure, a sense of safety. What if the safety is to be free?
Music was playing and realized that 808s and drums and shit are so big in hip hop because we gravitate to that shit naturally. How did our ancestors “make music” or sounds? Drumming and shit. Oscillating sounds are peaceful cause we have a deep connection to it
I started thinking about rappers. Why do we rap and think its the greatest shit? Because FREE FLOW and OPENNESS.
We are just like plants and need to soak in whatever we can get. Just make its right. Keep things simple.
Why are modern houses so minimal nowadays? Simplicity. We are realizing the best things in life are free. We don’t need much. Everything we have is around us and we need to appreciate it all.
Thank you @CryptoAnx on Twitter for your Psilocybin Story!!
Around this time I was thinking — this feels pretty good, maybe this is what shrooms are, and this is pretty cool…
I watched a breeze swoop in, moving the grass with it, in what I thought looked harmonious. I was in awe…but soon I found that this was just the tip of the iceberg — but rather than an iceberg, I’d say a blackhole.
30 minutes later
We walked around the park some more, feeling breezes and watching them orchestrate the grass like it was a band. We were standing on a small grass hill around that time, which was also when I had a peak experience. Answers I had been seeking flooded into me — maybe I was the black hole? Maybe we were all blackholes?
I wasn’t thinking that^ at the time, but reflecting on it, that’s how it felt for me. Everything made sense in that moment. It was moments of deep, joyful reflections. An internal “Ohhh” about so many things—myself, people, nature, animals, societal norms and structures, time, and even about life itself.
Pretty much anything I had ever wondered or worried about, was resolved. And at that time the answers were so much more simple than I was making them to be, or worrying about.
I really believe I was experiencing unconditional love, with myself and the Universe. We weren’t separate. There was no “you” and “me,” there wasn’t even an “us,” because it was all so beyond that, beyond any words.
One of the realizations I had during that moment, was that “time” is not actually how I previously thought it was—measured and all that(seconds, minutes, hours, days, etc). I realized that it was so much more than the measurements we’ve given it as humans. “Time” was a construct.
One way I’ve described this whole experience to others is that it’s like going back to when you were a child — there’s no labels and words for anything. It just all, is. And it’s all connected. You feel like you’re finally home, on the inside, ya know, because that’s ultimately where we’re all experiencing life from. Both the internal and external fused together.
“Psilocybin Black Hole” is an excerpt from My First Real Trip.
Join in on the 40+ comments on the full post here 😊
I went into this writing as a story idea — this would be a suicide note sent to a friend, and the friend is now reading this note which they received a day or two after their friend killed themselves.
I don’t plan on committing suicide, but this quickly turned into my own existential thoughts on life, to myself, and less of a suicide note. I wrote it in one sitting with pencil and paper, in late October 2019-it was one of those flow moments.
I wasn’t on magic mushrooms when writing this, I’m not even sure if they were on my mind, but I know they helped shape some of these thoughts.
I decided to keep some of the things I planned on editing out, in – they are in parentheses. Can be read with or without them.
Here is Existential Thoughts:
I can’t put into words how I feel right now, but I’ll try.
I’m young, but I feel so old; restless.
(A lost soul in a cold world.)
I found out this is a cold world; heartless.
Or maybe too much heart, and not enough brain,
(No thinking in this world, or you’ll be called insane; psycho, crazy.)
(Just do what we’re told.)
Cuz the people who think are all called insane; psycho.
They want us to do what we’re told and then feel shame; brainwash. (obedience)
I just can’t take it anymore, this game, I fold; The End.
Yes-I know I’m (loathing, dwelling) drowning in self-pity,
But I’m no Hunter S. Thompson,
I can’t always “ride the waves of life”
Sometimes those waves get so big, they suck me in and throw me against the ocean floor.
(And it fucking hurts. A fucking lot.)
Anyway, I know that everyone has their own waves to try and ride so I don’t even know why I’m sending this out.
No one actually cares. The world turns, the sun sets and rises and has been here for like billions of years..maybe..who knows what’s really real, I don’t think anyone does, except our experiences seem real, I don’t know.
I wonder what death will be like..or that it won’t “be” at all, not for our egos at least,
Bye bye whoever I thought I was, Hello reality.
But this life is miraculous, it’s, there’s no words that can capture what this is, “life” we call it.
It’s a fucking trip.
Don’t know where it came from, don’t know where it goes.
I’m not sure if anything actually matters.
If we’re just dust in the wind, which in a sense we are because the Earth is just a small speck in the Universe that we don’t know how big it is!!
So if we’re just dust in the wind then why do we live? —or better, why do we want/desire to live?
It’s built within us—everyone wants to survive, mostly everyone. I do, but I just don’t fucking know life’s purpose! Fuck…maybe life has no purpose, although it feels as if it does.
Paradoxes on top of paradoxes on top of paradoxes; life is an unsolvable puzzle…maybe.
What if it could be solved? Or maybe there’s no solving to do because it just “is”
Maybe we’ve been taught, or our biologies lead us to desiring to “solve” life.
What would that even mean?-To solve life…
Haha, it sounds ridiculous but I think everyone I know is trying to do it. I know I am…Like, to experience ecstasy all the time?
I think that’s what most people are seeking—to feel good, and not feel bad,
And we’ve come up with a million and one ways to do this, but, it all ends in death, right?
I don’t know, maybe there’s life after death, maybe we .. or maybe life-whatever this is, just goes on without us.
Maybe it’s indifferent to our feelings—kind of like how we humans are mostly indifferent to others’ feelings and especially indifferent to animals’ feelings – I mean, we eat them. So what makes us better than them?? I don’t think we are better, but I do believe the collective human conscious believes we are better than animals…I’m just trying to put things into perspective, like an objective perspective-because we each have our own individual ego/self-perspective, but I think there’s more to life than humans-A lot more! Maybe I’ll find it on the other side-like I’ll be born as an alien or something…stupid…
But anyway-I think when people, when I, you, everyone are confronted with (the end) death, we get defensive. We don’t want to believe the truth of reality so we never live in a reality of truth. Facades and masks and makeup and clothes—these things strengthen a false reality, so what would strengthen a truer reality? – I do still believe in wearing clothes, geez I’m not an animal…Or are we just animals playing dress-up? Haha.
I don’t know. I think though. I think a lot.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t think so much, but sometimes I like thinking.
So strengthening a truer reality..I think part of it comes down to a deep understanding/realization of death. -It’s hard for anyone to understand what we aren’t currently experiencing. So maybe one thing could be an imagination/visualization of losing all of one’s possessions—imagine what it would be like to have nothing and be on the streets of this cruel world.
It seems like most people don’t want to know the truth of reality, they want to believe they will live forever until they die, and I don’t think that’s wrong because I believe in the cosmos-that all things that happen are supposed to happen, but if the cosmos is just another made-up idea, well I don’t know – people who live a completely selfish life and die don’t worry about the consequences of their actions—they’re dead, but I think each persons’ actions impact us all, I do believe in that – cause and effect, which I only have a limited understanding on.
But then also if the whole human race would go/goes extinct, what does it matter?
I have no idea, but I have instinct/intuition, and it has a desire to do good, to help, to live a life where if when I die—I came/come back as a human(or animal) on the other side of the planet, that I can feel safe and loved—that I can be born into a world of love-a world where love rules – where we help each other rather than punish and shame, where we can look a stranger in the eye and really, really know, that they are me, and I am them, and that in what we have labeled as imperfections or flaws,-we (can) look at our own shortcomings/mishaps first before judging … that we won’t even judge, or that our judgements will be Love.-that, why would I ever try to hurt someone who is me, and I them?
It may never happen-it might not matter at all, but this is where I’m being called. I don’t know how to deal with people who hate—and I could be wrong but from what I’ve learned in human history-I’ve learned that masses of people tend to hate love…Like all the prophets get assassinated or thrown in jail. That seems backwards/wrong.
Are these “happenings” rooted in a corrupt system that desires control by any means?
Using the media to plant subconscious(selfish) ideas into human minds that/which benefit/strengthen the current power/system?
Or is it (“just”) conspiracy?
I don’t think it’s conspiracy, I think it’s another truth of reality that the “winners”/people in power/many people, don’t want to see/look at. If you go back in history and study it, really study it, you’ll see this to be true(see the truth of this harsh reality); control, greed, more, more, never enough, more, but never being satisfied. (So) When does it end?
It ends when our desire for truth is stronger than our desire for more(of anything)…What is true and what’s not?
I have no fucking idea, but I know and I feel a truth inside of me that yearns to live.
(Maybe this life/society isn’t meant to live like that, or maybe we experience truth in death, or maybe we are evolving-into something beautiful, as/like a caterpillar turned butterfly).
But it’s A World of Love that I want to live in.
And maybe our own heaven and hells are within each of us, and we, as individuals, me-I, am in control of whether I experience real love or not-that if I want to change the world I need to change myself. It’s probably true, but I still don’t change. I continue as I am, and can I change?-I’m sure I could, at least it feels like we have that free will. But I still don’t change. I envision a beautiful world-but beautiful for who?-Humans? Will we still eat animals?-I think our fear to survive is stronger than compassion for animals..Or beautiful for “Americans?”-To live believing we are superior to others of the human race because of where we were born and had zero control of?..
Even if I want to help make the world better, it’s because it would be a better place to be if I died and came back, that’s still selfish. It focuses on “I” “Me” “My” still.
(So what’s the point?)
So the point is that I have no fucking clue if what I or we do is “right” or “good” because a lot of people are trying to do what’s good for them and their “tribe”
(So) Instead of being told what I should do and believe in, I follow a/my calling-maybe my calling is just a sum of my experiences and observations, I don’t know-but it’s strong within me. I am no perfect person-that doesn’t exist. I (just) am that I am.
I have a desire to go on/continue trying to explain or discuss these ideas, but I realized that some people will understand; and maybe I’m biased but I think those that understand are also seeking truth-(they are on a path of love).
And many may think I’m crazy-but I know that it’s common for people to fear and hate on what they don’t understand…
Cuz the people who think are called insane.
One more thing—I’ve observed numerous amounts of people who are actually afraid to think against societal ideas—to think for themselves, for the fear of being condemned or whatever(which is one reason I write anonymously).
-And yea it makes sense – a lot of prophets and peace makers have been/are targeted and killed or put in a cage. The system doesn’t desire to be changed – it craves/desires evil, corruption, power, control at the expense of anything and anyone.
But I think it can change as more and more people genuinely want truth and love, and as difficult as it is in this world to follow one’s truth, it will become easier as more people join(the movement); To Love-support, help, cooperate, encourage, collaborate, in authenticity, in knowing that I am you, and you are me.
(How can we know if we’re authentically loving ourselves and others?…)
Love—what does it really mean?
—Not to hate ourselves because of our vices, or should we hate ourselves until we do what we think we should do? -Or Loving ourselves through it all-making progress as we strive and fail, and continue to strive to live in a state of Love…
I don’t know.
(Maybe you’ll find something of use from my words-as all we/I know and say is a result of my experiences and observations.)
(This whole thing just flowed out of me and onto the pages in one sitting)
There’s a lot of thinking going on inside of me, sometimes too much?-No-it’s all what it is and what “it” is is ___________. -There’s no word I can think of-but the experience is a oneness with everything-a connection that is beyond thought-beyond words-beyond judgements-a deep peace. -Knowing that it’s all okay despite the
(horrendous) truth of reality – I cross our horrendous because we may label it that because of our ideas of what is right and wrong(which a person’s thoughts of right and wrong are all relative to the human species-or race, gender, etc) is subjective. -(to our personal beliefs, not the truth of reality.)
But anyway!—yes, that it’s all okay, that we have very little control of whatever it is we are experiencing-but we have some control of (I think) our own actions-not the external world.
And that that is okay too.
And that you and I are going to die one day, and that that is okay.
Why wouldn’t it be okay??
-Because we thinkit’s not “okay” or “good”
Maybe death-it is the greatest thing that will ever happen to us.
I don’t know – and I don’t want to think that I know, because I don’t, (but) it-(death) is natural-and is “natural” indifferent?
Are we in a simulation? – maybe.
Is Jesus the only way to “eternal life?” -maybe.
Is there no purpose to anything, including this text? -maybe.
I guess one of the main takeaways I want readers to get from this is to really think about life—your own life, others’ lives, animals’ lives, and imagine/envision/think about what a “perfect”/ideal life would look like?
What does it look like to you?-And then imagine what it might be like for someone completely different from you—you may come to the realization that no amount of thinking will change reality’s truth, or who knows, maybe it will.
Are there similar characteristics in these perfect worlds?-or do your biases and human nature create a perfect world for just you-regardless of the feelings and thoughts of others?…
Thank you for reading.
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Love. Peace. Shrooms.