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What is the meaning of life? Morning Thoughts

I dive into my mind sometimes,

What’s the meaning of life?

^there are levels to the answer of this question

Because in a large way, we are literally creating the meaning of life.

-but yes, on a metaphysical, quantum level, there is a lottttttt happening. Layers. Levels. Dimensions. Etc. & there’s multiple layers within the layers — but this is what we do, right? As humans. We’re explorers. Pioneers. Renegades. & to go deeper, within the human mind – and also externally, we must begin “digging” you could say — diving into the mind – for me, I’m a natural philosopher, & psychedelics like psilocybin & lsd a handful of times(I would like to do more) – they can serve as mind “digging” tools — 

^^and one of the many things I’ve discovered/experienced, is that “Mind” is possibly everywhere. It’s not only within the individual. During some of my psychedelic trips I have understood this completely, wholly. It’s far-out. Definitely. But it’s real. & if I need to, I’m sure I could find quotes from geniuses of the past – scientific & other, who have said the same thing — but now, as we are advancing – in technology, etc, we may be able to prove this to be true.

^this is so obvious to me, that sometimes I feel like humanity already knows this…but, at so many levels it’s also obvious that humanity doesn’t know this — as a species, humanity overall, is still mostly behaving like animals, savages. 

& this ^^ is understandable. Look where we came from – as a species (humanity). “Life”, as we know it – well, the history of humanity, has been savagery. So it’s like yea, of course. 

But then where do we go from here?

& how? 

& why?

& I don’t know if it even matters. 

But I guess maybe it’s also our instinct which makes us want to strive & survive, & learn, & evolve.

(I drink a lot of water. I drink a lot of other things too. But lots and lots of water.)

As humans, we like to think we are in control. & to an extent, we are. But to a very small extent — because there are metaphysical, invisible, quantum, all that shit – is here. And it always has been. Life goes way way way beyond the human experience. Life is not about us. It’s not. Get over it. Boo-hoo. Cry me a river — & then use that water to help people.

Humanity, well, humans, individually, are selfish. Almost completely selfish.

It’s their instinct, mostly. So their instinct, and I’m sure this is not only biological, but there are multiple factors that influence this,, but yea, most, if not all, humans instinct is to survive, and, as we look at the history of humanity, it’s easy to see this. I mean even life today. It’s obvious.

So, there must be some good to this ^^, although it may be hard to believe. But there is. like we need this(ego) to a certain extent. But there is more to life than the human ego. So much more. 

But it’s very easy to be carried away by ego.

Possibly if it weren’t for my psilocybin experiences, I may not have ever experienced life outside the human ego. But there is life beyond the human ego. And it’s beautiful. Seriously. 

But yes, there is possibly a need for balance. Of ego, and we’ll say soul, if we are to adapt & evolve, together. There’s just so much more. But for so long humans have lived inside a bubble in a way. We could call it the bubble of ego. 100%. 

There is more to life than our little ego bubbles. So so so so much more.

Water break.

Goosebumps.

Anyway. Trying to find the right words for this — for what the answer for this could be — & it’s probably many things — one being a new form of understanding,, a new way of thinking,, perceiving,, etc..

& yes, I know at least part of the way, and part of me believes that the only way to achieve this is for us, on individual levels, to live the way. 

^^and the way — well first, it’s not just one exact way – it’s not. There’s no such thing as “perfection” – well, there is, because everything is perfect already,, but in a human sense – things will never be perfect, ever. Let’s not try to make things perfect, lets just progress. Start where we are and go from here. 

^but yea, the way..I could put it simply but it’s funny because I don’t know if people would understand. So possibly it’s something I’d have to write out or something, in detail, being diligent & specific with my words – as I’m trying to do now, but this is just a free-write. My mind is speaking.

How could I plan everything that has happened? Someone couldn’t plan that out. I trust life. It’s a different form of thinking, of living, of being. 

And..I could continue with this – with writing & whatever, but, and I will, at some point. 

And yea, it’d be nice to not be living in poverty. & some might mention ego now – but like I said, we need ego to an extent. & I like to have fun. Life isn’t about just human shit. That’s stupid. About whatever. It’s so much more. And I want to create great work, and have fun while I do it, at a place where I can research & write, and feel free to dive into the Mind, & try to find the right words — to share new ways of thinking, perceiving, understanding.

Somewhere near nature, beach would be cool. No nearby neighbors haha, but I’ll still be social every now & then. 

((People are so stupid sometimes. They will take your words & twist them into their own interpretation, for better or worse, and often, for worse. So fucking stupid.)) – but again, even though this irritates me sometimes, I understand it. We, humanity, come from savagery – this is how it has been, and this is how it still is.

& I don’t mind living in poverty. Honestly I love my life, and that won’t change. It won’t. I know what I’m here for. & if I die or someone kills me, that’s okay. Seriously, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Life goes on. It’s not about me. And it’s not about you. It’s definitely not about humanity.  There’s just a lot, a lot, a lot happening on the metaphysical, quantum level, & other levels we are currently unaware of.

That’s it for now.

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Psilocybin Stories

Psilocybin Black Hole

Around this time I was thinking — this feels pretty good, maybe this is what shrooms are, and this is pretty cool…

I watched a breeze swoop in, moving the grass with it, in what I thought looked harmonious. I was in awe…but soon I found that this was just the tip of the iceberg — but rather than an iceberg, I’d say a blackhole.

30 minutes later

We walked around the park some more, feeling breezes and watching them orchestrate the grass like it was a band. We were standing on a small grass hill around that time, which was also when I had a peak experience. Answers I had been seeking flooded into me — maybe I was the black hole? Maybe we were all blackholes? 

I wasn’t thinking that^ at the time, but reflecting on it, that’s how it felt for me. Everything made sense in that moment. It was moments of deep, joyful reflections. An internal “Ohhh” about so many things—myself, people, nature, animals, societal norms and structures, time, and even about life itself. 

Pretty much anything I had ever wondered or worried about, was resolved. And at that time the answers were so much more simple than I was making them to be, or worrying about.

I really believe I was experiencing unconditional love, with myself and the Universe. We weren’t separate. There was no “you” and “me,” there wasn’t even an “us,” because it was all so beyond that, beyond any words.  

One of the realizations I had during that moment, was that “time” is not actually how I previously thought it was—measured and all that(seconds, minutes, hours, days, etc). I realized that it was so much more than the measurements we’ve given it as humans. “Time” was a construct. 

One way I’ve described this whole experience to others is that it’s like going back to when you were a child — there’s no labels and words for anything. It just all, is. And it’s all connected. You feel like you’re finally home, on the inside, ya know, because that’s ultimately where we’re all experiencing life from. Both the internal and external fused together.

“Psilocybin Black Hole” is an excerpt from My First Real Trip.
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