2 years after my first psychedelic experience, in 2012, I traveled to Venezuela on a mission trip. Up to that point I had only taken magic mushrooms 3 or 4 times.
I’ve never craved psychedelics. I’ve always appreciated them with a deep reverence after my first experience.
Anyway, looking through photo memories, I can see my charisma and trusting presence. I wonder if psilocybin makes us more of who we are? But do believe that it can awaken the Soul.
As I’ve gotten older, some of my trusting presence has faded or hidden. I think it’s still within me. Many people have mistaken my carefree presence as naive and weak, but now that it’s not as strong within me, I realize this was a strength.
I didn’t need or use any drugs during this trip. I really was high on life, and have been high on life much of my life. I had little to no anxiety, no worries, just carrying a deep trust I had for life, God, the Universe, which my psychedelic experiences made complete. I understood that everything in life was unfolding perfectly, trusting it without a doubt, which I believe is what allowed me to live so completely in the present moment, overflowing with life.
I was in a state of trust, and would like to practice trusting life again. I think as we age and experience inevitable moments of suffering, we trust less, we’re in our heads more, we miss out on joys otherwise to be had today – holding onto pains of our past or worries of our future. It’s not easy.
My once in a blue moon psychedelic experiences often return me to that state of trusting presence. My hope is that it can do the same for others, and that we can carry some of that trust into our daily lives.
I know several factors impact the experience – that the psychedelic experience is unique to the individual. Maybe the experience brings out more of who we already are, but maybe it can do more than that with the addition of a spiritual practice, or other practices. The presence of genuinely supportive people makes a difference.
I see this in reflection as I’m currently not in the all-around great shape I had been in most of my life, and not just physical shape but mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial — I’m still paying student loans but at the time it felt like free money. Haha.
Life is constantly changing. I’m not in the ideal shape I used to be in, but I’m happy with who I am and where I’m currently at. I accept myself, (I try to!), as I simultaneously (try to) take actions toward a more ideal future. Imperfect progress is a way toward progress, and I do imagine a better future, although 2020 hasn’t made it easy.
I hope you and yours are well.
I know that psilocybin alone isn’t the answer, though it is nice hearing about its decriminalizations and medicinal legalizations. I think it will help many people in the long run.
1—There are different strands of magic mushrooms. Since it’s mostly illegal, you will likely not know how strong the mushrooms you have are, and what effects they might have. So it’s best to begin with a low dose.
I prefer higher doses, but for microdosing begin with .1 or .2 grams. You most likely won’t feel anything. Even at half a gram you might not feel anything. So begin low, then go from there.
If you don’t want to feel anything, continue with the .1 or .2 grams. If you want to feel some effects, go to 1 gram, and if you want the whole experience, take 3.5 or more grams.
Remember, each person reacts different to psilocybin. If you are taking other medicine, your medicine may effect your trip — whether it makes you not feel anything, or makes you feel something different, it just depends.
Safe bet is to begin with a small amount and go from there.
Anyway I think psychedelics are basically harmless. For me, they have been more than harmless. They have been extremely beneficial, helping me come to accept parts of myself I didn’t like before, increasing my self-awareness, raising my critical thinking skills, and deepening my spirituality.
The education system, and maybe family members, have taught you and I that “All drugs are bad, mmkay”, but that’s not true!!! Some drugs are bad, but some drugs are better than good, like psilocybin.
You might not feel some of the awesome effects of psilocybin if you are microdosing, but if that’s what you want, start with a small amount and then go from there. I’m excited for you.