(Began around 5 something PM – probably more towards 6)
It’s moments like this, here & now, where I see everything — well, I want to say “everything”, but it’s more like
( I take a deep breath) it’s an understanding. & to anyone who doesn’t believe, that’s okay.
It’s real tho.
This is real.
I am real.
There’s nothing fake about this. I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell people this – that they should know it’s real – that they can feel it. But maybe not everyone can, yet… all I have right now is a big smile…a big smile for myself & for everyone, for life, for nature, for people, for everything. Wow, & sometimes I cry because it’s so vast… okay, so yes – integration is extremely important,, where can people begin?
—begin by Relaxing (there are multiple ways to relax — meditation, **laying down is actually wonderful** just lay down. & breathe.
& love— like the Greeks I believe have 7-9 different meanings of the word “love” whereas in English there’s pretty much only 1 meaning – or a few. But it’s broad. Anyway, there are different meanings of Love. (I’ve already written about this – I’ll pull it up from one of my word docs sometime later) anyway, lay down. Relax. Breathe. – (you already know – maybe, that I am writing in this moment like I am speaking to someone, to you, whoever you may be. I don’t know, but I’m writing this for the people – for anyone who is listening*****)
Integration — first, relax. Lay down. Breathe… My integration with psilocybin began 10 years ago – so, it’s been a fucking journey – a great one. Now(I wanted it then too) I want others to experience this. Love. Unconditional Love… idk & it doesn’t matter what ppl think – but One way to experience this is through deeply researching the Bible – like I’ve done throughout most of my life – beginning when I was like 11 or 12. I’ve gotten into other spiritual books as I’ve gotten older – currently I’m super into Hinduism & studying more of that. Buddhism is also amazing.
There are so many practical applications in these spiritual texts. & they’ve been around for a long long time. There’s a reason they’re still here… anyway, I want to help people integrate love into their lives, because it’s real love that they desire. We all want love.
As a few tears now stream from my eyes. It’s love. & I think that we need it. We need love. Real love.
As a few laughs from love come about – from within. Smile. Breathe.
So where can someone begin? – because psilocybin by itself may help a few experience love, but integration is what we need. Integration can help everybody. It can help anybody who wants to experience love. & everybody does. If a person says they don’t want to experience unconditional love – they are lying to themselves. Everybody wants to experience unconditional love. I think we need this now more than ever – in humanity – & that honestly, real love possibly can heal this world. Because we also all know that this world is a puzzle to say the least. It’s … there’s really no words to explain it — ****because it is Beyond Words!!!****
people, myself too, we often & maybe almost always – live in words. In ideas. But LIFE is NOT words!!!!! It’s beyond that. Real life is beyond words.
Unconditional love is beyond reason**** & humans, me too, we aren’t always reasonable – as much as we all like to believe we are..so this now leads me to thinking about our shadows. The “dark side” of humanity – which is within us all. Don’t try to say it’s not. It’s within us all. & you don’t need to judge it. What we need to do, I think, is learn to understand & accept the dark sides within us all. It’s really okay. It truly is. You’re not alone. There’s someone who understands — & it is you. Many organizations & whatnot have been created in fear – there’s a ton of fear within us all, within humans & animals. & fear itself isn’t a bad thing, it’s not. Fear can be good. But unconditional love is such a better experience. It’s limitless. It’s sooo vast.
So okay, integration. How to gently transition from fear to love*** this could be a book title ^^^. There’s so much “serious- ness” in this world. & everything is really, truly, not that serious. (I wasn’t trying to reference the joker there either)
It’s just – like Jesus & other spiritual leaders, Bob Marley, so many leaders – they say don’t worry. Don’t worry about anything. Everything is perfect. It is. But not everyone sees this – maybe most people don’t. I don’t know. We, as humans, from the poorest to richest, from the healthiest to the diseased , all of us are just a part of life. It’s really very simple, but we make it so complex – people make simple things complex. & that’s not needed.maybe it was then, but it’s not needed now. Now is a time for simplicity, like da Vinci spoke of – “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” & it is.
It really is. I think because there is a certain understanding within simplicity – like look at nature for example – trees – they are beautiful, & they are extremely intelligent. They grow & they don’t need humans to help them grow. Nature helps them – which we can also call god, because it’s everywhere. Again, it’s nothing to fear. You’re already here. Might as well experience love. It’s what you want anyway. We need love – humanity needs love. Unconditional love.
But it’s not something to force. Love is Never something to force – ever. That’s why a gentle integration of it may be the best path toward it; to it. Because it’s here already. Love is here. & love casts out fear. I don’t know. Now I know I might be writing too much, haha. Again, it really doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t give a fuck. Right now I don’t, & right now I know what I know.
So integration, where can people begin? (- other than taking a large dose of psilocybin)
—begin by relaxing. Lay down. Get comfortable.
—then from here, hmm,,, sometimes I don’t know if anybody cares anyway – if anybody truly cares. This all might just be futile, blowing in the wind. It probably is. But while we’re here… ***But since we’re here*** … to meditate in Love – like when Ram Dass asked Maharaji about how to meditate – Maharaji closed his eyes, I think teared up, opened his eyes & answered, meditate like Christ. & ram Dass asked how Christ meditated,. Maharaji answered, “in love” or something like that. — & this now inspires me to read some of the gospels – especially Jesus’s words in the gospels… I was gonna write this in my notebook, but, fuck it. Anyone who is reading this, anyone who is listening, yea please do…Eternal perspective – & yes, it is out of this world. It is way way beyond anything the human brain can comprehend,, currently… also, I am not claiming to be jesus or anything… I’m just a person who is very interested in these studies.
I find this all fascinating.
Life is beyond words beautiful. I feel & experience unconditional love & I want others to experience this too. It’s magical. Truly it is. It’s the peace beyond understanding that jesus spoke of… & I don’t feel this transcendent presence 24/7, as you know, but right now I do. – this is after ingesting some psilocybin a couple hours ago…
integration is so important. Without integration none of this can happen. We need to gently, very very gently, integrate unconditional love. It’s not impossible – as some think. It’s not. It is possible… I’m gonna eat another little shroom now too. Keep this going. I say with a smile. A big smile. A smile of love…
do you know what is so fucking important???
Clean water. (7:15pm currently) & water is what I’m about to go get from the kitchen. I’m gonna drink it too hahaha. Idk why that’s funny, but it is. Clean water for all tho, that’d be nice.
Long showers hold some healing within. (7:29 pm – taking a shower) , also many of the words I write can hold within them multiple meanings. This is intentional. – better said – is that most of what I write is straightforward, but some of what I write contains multiple purposes – all good. (7:56pm – out of the shower & dressed) back to my cabin. – dental hygiene is important. Definitely gonna floss & brush my teeth when I get to my cabin shortly…
so, integration, haha…I say with a smile, a loving smile. It’s all okay. It’s all life. For me – with integration, after relaxing & meditating & all that, I go to the gospels in the Bible, at least right now I do. Jesus’s words are incredible. They are powerful – powerfully healing – to anyone who listens – to anyone who wants healing – to anyone who wants unconditional love. So for now, I’m gonna read more of the gospel John. I’m in the third chapter & already reminded of the brilliance of this all. Inspired by God, or something divine. Most definitely… & unconditional love – for anyone who worries about this – it’s the opposite of worry. It’s nothing to worry about. Worrying won’t get you to Heaven. You are loved for who you are. Just as you are. THIS is unconditional love. Everybody has sinned and has fallen short of God’s glory, says the Bible, & this is true. But God or whatever this experience is, love us completely – just as we are, & completely knows all that we are. There’s no hiding from God, & that should be liberating – not frightening. Knowing that all everyone has ever done – God understands, & God love, without conditions. Unconditional love… now back to the gospel John. — also, I’d like to add some Hinduism into here too, because Christianity seems to scare the fuck out of some people haha. Understandably so – the church has room for improvement. Hinduism holds truths that are also just wow. It’s just that for me, personally, I began with the Bible & not just that I began with it – I like reading it. I also love reading Hindu texts. Buddhist texts.
Spiritual >>> Religious. (8:27pm)
8:32 pm – John 4:24… id like to quote so much of this gospel – & all the gospels. But for now I’m gonna continue reading… I feel so fucking good right now. So fucking good. (8:47pm)
(9:11pm – just got back from the kitchen – ate a piece of pizza & some leftovers, did dishes, organized some stuff in fridge, & now I’m back in the cabin… oh yea, can’t forget – I drink water sometimes straight from the faucet – literally I do, metaphorically it’s like drinking spiritual water straight from the source)
The Doors of Perception are open within me, throughout me, in this moment. Glory to god. This life is just wow. Beyond that. It’s beyond words… also, with the Bible – it takes a lot of discernment, prayer, & spiritual gifts to understand it’s main messages – because some of the Bible is out of date – it’s difficult to explain this – id have to write in depth about it – which I would love to do. I’m signed with God, but was gonna say something like someone should sign me now before everybody wants me. It’s that I am certain I have great gifts to share. & I want to share it all. It’s all happening in time anyway. & it’s something to smile about. A big big smile.
Unconditional love. (9:27pm)
John 6:31 “after all, our ancestors ate manna while they journeyed through the wilderness! The Scriptures say ‘Moses gave them bread from heaven to eat.’”
—& now for integration, John 6:32-33 “Jesus said, ‘I tell you the truth, Moses didn’t give you bread from heaven. My Father did. And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’”
The next verse is hilarious, John 6:34 “Sir,” they said, “give us that bread every day.”
Hahaha. That is awesome though ^^. (9:39pm)
I feel so good right now – as I read the gospel John, & after eating psilocybin in the past few hours. I feel great.
But yea, integration…haha…it is extremely important… later in John 6 Jesus speaks of people eating his flesh & drinking his blood to get eternal life — yea this is not literal. He speaks in parables all the time. Just about all the time. I believe he is speaking of his words – the words of God. The Holy Spirit. – that people need to take it into their minds & eat it, & digest it, & really take it in. Because when you get it – when you really get it, it doesn’t go away. Quite possibly eternal. Also this is a paradox to human ways – because the way to experience Heaven is the most selfless actions you can make. It is complete selflessness that will get you there… gentle integration…
John 7:38 “Anyone who believes in me may come & drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (10:00pm)
psilocybin is seriously fucking amazing… I think many people tho who are trying to get into the psilocybin field don’t know what they’re getting into — especially people who are only looking for profit… & hopefully – my hope is that, well, I don’t care who comes into this field – & my hope is that the more they get into psilocybin plus integrations, the more they will understand & experience unconditional love. So it’s a win-win either way. It’s all good…as I read the gospel John still – some of these verses remind me of Atman in Hinduism – which refers to Soul – which I believe is the real essence of who we all are. It goes beyond the physical. It literally transcends physicality. I want to share this message.