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Psychedelic Notes 11/18/21

Really what I want to do is – well one thing I want to do is integrate my mystical psilocybin experiences – to put them in words – & to act on what I learned from those experiences – even when & if people disagree. I can’t live for the opinion of people any more. I mean I can but I don’t want to. I can’t live well like that. 

I need to live my truth. 

& what I have experienced during multiple of my psilocybin experiences were completely unique.

I think it will be better if I stop feeling the need to explain myself – especially to people who are bent on disagreeing with me.

 & that I need to just live it – which I’ve done at times in my life, but I’d like to live what I’ve learned more & more – & one of the main things I experienced during those moments was unconditional love – & that no matter who you are & what you’ve done, you are loved no matter what – who you really are, behind your ego, there is unconditional love. I know people disagree with this, but this is what I experienced & it’s true for me.

& I experienced the Tao – beyond words bliss. 

& some of my favorite experiences deep into shroom trips have been stargazing with friends – they were tripping too. 3.5 grams on trips like this when I was in college & the years after college.

Stargazing though, truly beautiful at the end of a mushroom trip – or in the middle of one too. Shooting stars – this is one of the most magical experiences with or without shrooms. But on shrooms it’s magnified X a lot.

& just thinking about life – contemplating it all – not in a rush to figure anything out, but in a way that genuinely wonders & asks All the questions.

What is life?

Why is life? 

Why does anything exist at all?

Why has it happened like this?

Where are we in the Universe? — or better yet realizing that it doesn’t matter where we are in the Universe, just that we are here now – on this big fucking rock! 

With a hot lava core & all sorts of layers within.

Floating in space!!

That’s fucking crazy.

But people act like it’s no big deal.

It’s a huge fucking deal.

Contemplating the vastness of the Universe while laying down at night looking at the stars with friends.

Seeing the edge of our Milky Way Galaxy & thinking about how there are millions & billions of other galaxies!!!! (the normal human mind can’t comprehend billions of galaxies because it’s so vast & because most people are completely stuck in this planet & don’t care to contemplate the Universe – & that’s okay too, but it’s not for me. I like the out of this world philosophy talk & experiences. & there’s always more to learn & experience. Always. No one person can know it all – ever. I will never claim to know it all because that’s not possible for anyone. 

I will claim my experiences though. 

& some people doubt that aliens exist.

That’s a joke.

Of course they do.

I like philosophizing life. 

It’s one of my favorite things to do.

& I’ve been philosophizing & contemplating life since I was a child. 

It’s been a natural passion & I’m thankful for it.

I want others to experience the mystical too. 

^especially since another realization I had on shrooms was that we are literally One. Our egos make us feel separate so our egos must be a lie. But there also must be something good that can come from our egos since they are very much existent in people. The realization that I am you and you are me. In the literal sense. This is no metaphor or anything like that. This is literal. We are each other. It’s just that our egos have been so cemented to believe otherwise – to believe that we are words & images & whatever else the ego holds on to – that all these things define us, but none of them do – they don’t define our real selves, which is our soul selves beyond the ego. I experienced empathy in this place like nothing I’ve ever experienced before & it was complete bliss. Unconditional love. It was the realization of my Soul self. It was an ego death. & it was beyond words beautiful.

Deep empathy. 

& so when I think about or write about politics – I know that’s my ego talking. Politics is the biggest ego game on this planet, & I just don’t have time for that – it takes away from my happiness so the only thing I can do is leave it to them & trust them – I mean, they are in their positions for a reason. 

But after I experienced unconditional love on my shrooms trips I realized that I can’t hate anyone & that I should never try to change anyone. Because we are all in harmony with the Tao, even when we think we or others aren’t – we still are.

So less talk. More living this. 

Just love. 

Really.

& love is an action – & it can be practiced. 

& it’s something I know I would like to practice more. Because in that place of love is bliss. & it’s completely selfless. So much easier said than done because as humans we have been taught to be inherently selfish — so I think we can possibly change human nature — that “human nature” is possibly a concept we’ve created as a species & it can be changed for the better. 

& yes, I’d like to live well – & idk if that’s my ego or soul talking. idk, but it’s like I still want to be financially free & all that. I still want to eat good foods & enjoy life to the fullest, & that’s okay too. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. 

But I also think that real happiness is beyond all of that – that there are some people who are rich & love it & themselves, but that also there are people who are rich and hate their lives — tell that to a poor person..no don’t do that actually. — the pain anyone in is valid. But yea. More living it. Less talk.

^^other peoples’ lives are not mine to judge — no matter what. Period. 

Really, just love.

Really, just love.

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Psil Silva Psilocybin Stories Psychedelic Blog Psychedelics

Psychedelic Spirits

“Shamans in all times & places gained their power through relationships with helping spirits.”
—Terence McKenna

They’re all around us.

& not to scare you but, they know what you think…

& to ease your mind — they love you unconditionally.

I’m in contact with these spirits, they teach me, and psilocybin may be one of the main reasons this happened to me.

On that note – it is important to consider what you’re getting into if you choose to try psychedelics.

These spirits may be souls in another dimension, they might be aliens or angels & demons. I have thoughts about it that I won’t get into in this post.

Overall, I think this type of communication is extremely beneficial for humanity. 

Although it is definitely not normal. It’s not anything most(if not all) people in the west know much about, so it often frightens people.

It scares the ego.

& we all know we need more soul & less ego right now.

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Psil Silva Psilocybin Stories Psychedelic Blog Psychedelics

Psychedelic Evolution

“Even as the nineteenth century had to come to grips with the notion of human descent from apes, we must now come to terms with the fact that those apes were stoned apes.”
-Terence McKenna

Scientists can’t confirm with 100% accuracy that humans are a product of evolution.

But that is what many of them think, and it’s possible

For me, I am not claiming to know. I entertain multiple ideas, like Aristotle.

It’s possible that aliens created us, that we are a product of aliens. But yea, evolution is possible too. & there are more than just two possibilities. There are many.

Anyway, in relation to the title of this post & Terence’s quote, the evolution of humanity may have come from animals who stumbled upon plants that got them high. Really really high. Like psilocybin mushrooms. 

And if we didn’t come from animals, although we as humans are animals – we share a very similar biology to all animals – organs, hair, skin, hands, feet, etc. humans are animals. Get over it.

Anyway, even if we didn’t evolve from apes, we are now at a point where we can observe evolution happening within us, humanity, as we live right now — & that this evolution, at least part of it, is coming from the use of psilocybin mushrooms & marijuana. Other psychedelics too.

What are your thoughts on the stoned ape theory?

& what are your thoughts about aliens?

Comment, and stay cool, friends

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Psil Silva Psilocybin Stories Psychedelic Blog Psychedelics

Psychedelic Nature Integrations

“Go to the meadows, go to the garden, go to the woods. Open your eyes!”
– Albert Hofmann

Psil Silva, To the Moon

These past 6 months I’ve spent my time in nature, on an island off the coast of the state of Washington.

You could say I was at a cross roads in life…

& this time in nature, away from “it all” has been a time of transformation, healing, & experience.

It has been a necessary reminder for me to never forget about nature, because we can’t live without it. Literally.

Once we realize this as a whole, that nature is keeping us alive, then we will all appreciate nature A LOT more.

Hopefully we can do this before nature decides to destroy humans – because as we all know, humans are the biggest threat to nature. 

Nature knows this. It really does – & the knowing that nature has is wise beyond any & all human intelligences.

Truly.

& when you spend a lot of time in nature, with nature, you can come to this realization & understanding.

But humanity has mostly lost its connection with nature. It has forgotten nature – the source which keeps us alive. We’ve taken it for granted. Lots of people think & feel they are superior to nature, & that’s the type of thinking that will end a species.

We need to begin appreciating nature more, genuinely, and we can begin to do this by spending time in nature. You can go in nature with people but sometimes you need to go alone.

Sit with nature. Listen. See. Feel. Love.

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The Psilocybin Spirit Philosophy Show

Alien Communication – This is where we begin

For real. 
If we want to communicate with aliens, this is where we begin.

& for real, leave a review. let’s start changing the world for good, for all.

Peace & Love.

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Psilocybin Stories

Ego as an Onion + Meditation

How is the human ego similar to an onion? 
Find out throughout this episode 🙂
Plus some meditation toward the end! (and aliens?!?!)

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Psilocybin Stories

Existential Thoughts

I went into this writing as a story idea — this would be a suicide note sent to a friend, and the friend is now reading this note which they received a day or two after their friend killed themselves.

I don’t plan on committing suicide, but this quickly turned into my own existential thoughts on life, to myself, and less of a suicide note. I wrote it in one sitting with pencil and paper, in late October 2019-it was one of those flow moments. 

I wasn’t on magic mushrooms when writing this, I’m not even sure if they were on my mind, but I know they helped shape some of these thoughts.

I decided to keep some of the things I planned on editing out, in – they are in parentheses. Can be read with or without them.

Here is Existential Thoughts:

_____________________________

I can’t put into words how I feel right now, but I’ll try.
I’m young, but I feel so old; restless.

(A lost soul in a cold world.)

I found out this is a cold world; heartless.
Or maybe too much heart, and not enough brain,

(No thinking in this world, or you’ll be called insane; psycho, crazy.)
(Just do what we’re told.)

Cuz the people who think are all called insane; psycho.
They want us to do what we’re told and then feel shame; brainwash. (obedience)

I just can’t take it anymore, this game, I fold; The End.

Yes-I know I’m (loathing, dwelling) drowning in self-pity,
But I’m no Hunter S. Thompson, 
I can’t always “ride the waves of life” 
Sometimes those waves get so big, they suck me in and throw me against the ocean floor.

(And it fucking hurts. A fucking lot.)

Anyway, I know that everyone has their own waves to try and ride so I don’t even know why I’m sending this out.

No one actually cares. The world turns, the sun sets and rises and has been here for like billions of years..maybe..who knows what’s really real, I don’t think anyone does, except our experiences seem real, I don’t know.

I wonder what death will be like..or that it won’t “be” at all, not for our egos at least, 
Bye bye whoever I thought I was, Hello reality.
But this life is miraculous, it’s, there’s no words that can capture what this is, “life” we call it.
It’s a fucking trip.
Don’t know where it came from, don’t know where it goes.

I’m not sure if anything actually matters.
If we’re just dust in the wind, which in a sense we are because the Earth is just a small speck in the Universe that we don’t know how big it is!!
So if we’re just dust in the wind then why do we live? —or better, why do we want/desire to live?

It’s built within us—everyone wants to survive, mostly everyone. I do, but I just don’t fucking know life’s purpose! Fuck…maybe life has no purpose, although it feels as if it does.

Paradoxes on top of paradoxes on top of paradoxes; life is an unsolvable puzzle…maybe.

What if it could be solved? Or maybe there’s no solving to do because it just “is”
Maybe we’ve been taught, or our biologies lead us to desiring to “solve” life.
What would that even mean?-To solve life…
Haha, it sounds ridiculous but I think everyone I know is trying to do it. I know I am…Like, to experience ecstasy all the time?

I think that’s what most people are seeking—to feel good, and not feel bad,
And we’ve come up with a million and one ways to do this, but, it all ends in death, right?

I don’t know, maybe there’s life after death, maybe we .. or maybe life-whatever this is, just goes on without us.

Maybe it’s indifferent to our feelings—kind of like how we humans are mostly indifferent to others’ feelings and especially indifferent to animals’ feelings – I mean, we eat them. So what makes us better than them?? I don’t think we are better, but I do believe the collective human conscious believes we are better than animals…I’m just trying to put things into perspective, like an objective perspective-because we each have our own individual ego/self-perspective, but I think there’s more to life than humans-A lot more! Maybe I’ll find it on the other side-like I’ll be born as an alien or something…stupid…

But anyway-I think when people, when I, you, everyone are confronted with (the end) death, we get defensive. We don’t want to believe the truth of reality so we never live in a reality of truth. Facades and masks and makeup and clothes—these things strengthen a false reality, so what would strengthen a truer reality? – I do still believe in wearing clothes, geez I’m not an animal…Or are we just animals playing dress-up? Haha.

I don’t know. I think though. I think a lot. 
Sometimes I wish I didn’t think so much, but sometimes I like thinking.

So strengthening a truer reality..I think part of it comes down to a deep understanding/realization of death. -It’s hard for anyone to understand what we aren’t currently experiencing. So maybe one thing could be an imagination/visualization of losing all of one’s possessions—imagine what it would be like to have nothing and be on the streets of this cruel world. 

It seems like most people don’t want to know the truth of reality, they want to believe they will live forever until they die, and I don’t think that’s wrong because I believe in the cosmos-that all things that happen are supposed to happen, but if the cosmos is just another made-up idea, well I don’t know – people who live a completely selfish life and die don’t worry about the consequences of their actions—they’re dead, but I think each persons’ actions impact us all, I do believe in that – cause and effect, which I only have a limited understanding on.

But then also if the whole human race would go/goes extinct, what does it matter? 

I have no idea, but I have instinct/intuition, and it has a desire to do good, to help, to live a life where if when I die—I came/come back as a human(or animal) on the other side of the planet, that I can feel safe and loved—that I can be born into a world of love-a world where love rules – where we help each other rather than punish and shame, where we can look a stranger in the eye and really, really know, that they are me, and I am them, and that in what we have labeled as imperfections or flaws,-we (can) look at our own shortcomings/mishaps first before judging … that we won’t even judge, or that our judgements will be Love.-that, why would I ever try to hurt someone who is me, and I them?

It may never happen-it might not matter at all, but this is where I’m being called. I don’t know how to deal with people who hate—and I could be wrong but from what I’ve learned in human history-I’ve learned that masses of people tend to hate love…Like all the prophets get assassinated or thrown in jail. That seems backwards/wrong.

Are these “happenings” rooted in a corrupt system that desires control by any means?
Using the media to plant subconscious(selfish) ideas into human minds that/which benefit/strengthen the current power/system?
Or is it (“just”) conspiracy? 

I don’t think it’s conspiracy, I think it’s another truth of reality that the “winners”/people in power/many people, don’t want to see/look at. If you go back in history and study it, really study it, you’ll see this to be true(see the truth of this harsh reality); control, greed, more, more, never enough, more, but never being satisfied. (So) When does it end?

It ends when our desire for truth is stronger than our desire for more(of anything)…What is true and what’s not?

I have no fucking idea, but I know and I feel a truth inside of me that yearns to live.

(Maybe this life/society isn’t meant to live like that, or maybe we experience truth in death, or maybe we are evolving-into something beautiful, as/like a caterpillar turned butterfly).

But it’s A World of Love that I want to live in.

And maybe our own heaven and hells are within each of us, and we, as individuals, me-I, am in control of whether I experience real love or not-that if I want to change the world I need to change myself. It’s probably true, but I still don’t change. I continue as I am, and can I change?-I’m sure I could, at least it feels like we have that free will. But I still don’t change. I envision a beautiful world-but beautiful for who?-Humans? Will we still eat animals?-I think our fear to survive is stronger than compassion for animals..Or beautiful for “Americans?”-To live believing we are superior to others of the human race because of where we were born and had zero control of?..

Even if I want to help make the world better, it’s because it would be a better place to be if I died and came back, that’s still selfish. It focuses on “I” “Me” “My” still.

(So what’s the point?)

So the point is that I have no fucking clue if what I or we do is “right” or “good” because a lot of people are trying to do what’s good for them and their “tribe”

(So) Instead of being told what I should do and believe in, I follow a/my calling-maybe my calling is just a sum of my experiences and observations, I don’t know-but it’s strong within me. I am no perfect person-that doesn’t exist. I (just) am that I am.

I have a desire to go on/continue trying to explain or discuss these ideas, but I realized that some people will understand; and maybe I’m biased but I think those that understand are also seeking truth-(they are on a path of love).

And many may think I’m crazy-but I know that it’s common for people to fear and hate on what they don’t understand…

Cuz the people who think are called insane.

One more thing—I’ve observed numerous amounts of people who are actually afraid to think against societal ideas—to think for themselves, for the fear of being condemned or whatever(which is one reason I write anonymously).

-And yea it makes sense – a lot of prophets and peace makers have been/are targeted and killed or put in a cage. The system doesn’t desire to be changed – it craves/desires evil, corruption, power, control at the expense of anything and anyone.

But I think it can change as more and more people genuinely want truth and love, and as difficult as it is in this world to follow one’s truth, it will become easier as more people join(the movement); To Love-support, help, cooperate, encourage, collaborate, in authenticity, in knowing that I am you, and you are me.

(How can we know if we’re authentically loving ourselves and others?…)

Love—what does it really mean?

—Not to hate ourselves because of our vices, or should we hate ourselves until we do what we think we should do? -Or Loving ourselves through it all-making progress as we strive and fail, and continue to strive to live in a state of Love…

I don’t know.

(Maybe you’ll find something of use from my words-as all we/I know and say is a result of my experiences and observations.)

(This whole thing just flowed out of me and onto the pages in one sitting)

There’s a lot of thinking going on inside of me, sometimes too much?-No-it’s all what it is and what “it” is is ___________. -There’s no word I can think of-but the experience is a oneness with everything-a connection that is beyond thought-beyond words-beyond judgements-a deep peace. -Knowing that it’s all okay despite the (horrendous) truth of reality – I cross our horrendous because we may label it that because of our ideas of what is right and wrong(which a person’s thoughts of right and wrong are all relative to the human species-or race, gender, etc) is subjective. -(to our personal beliefs, not the truth of reality.)

But anyway!—yes, that it’s all okay, that we have very little control of whatever it is we are experiencing-but we have some control of (I think) our own actions-not the external world.

And that that is okay too.

And that you and I are going to die one day, and that that is okay.

Why wouldn’t it be okay??

-Because we thinkit’s not “okay” or “good”

Maybe death-it is the greatest thing that will ever happen to us.

I don’t know – and I don’t want to think that I know, because I don’t, (but) it-(death) is natural-and is “natural” indifferent?

Are we in a simulation? – maybe.
Is Jesus the only way to “eternal life?” -maybe.
Is there no purpose to anything, including this text? -maybe.

I guess one of the main takeaways I want readers to get from this is to really think about life—your own life, others’ lives, animals’ lives, and imagine/envision/think about what a “perfect”/ideal life would look like?

What does it look like to you?-And then imagine what it might be like for someone completely different from you—you may come to the realization that no amount of thinking will change reality’s truth, or who knows, maybe it will.

Are there similar characteristics in these perfect worlds?-or do your biases and human nature create a perfect world for just you-regardless of the feelings and thoughts of others?…

Thank you for reading.

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Love. Peace. Shrooms.