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Psilocybin Stories

Psilocybin Black Hole

Around this time I was thinking — this feels pretty good, maybe this is what shrooms are, and this is pretty cool…

I watched a breeze swoop in, moving the grass with it, in what I thought looked harmonious. I was in awe…but soon I found that this was just the tip of the iceberg — but rather than an iceberg, I’d say a blackhole.

30 minutes later

We walked around the park some more, feeling breezes and watching them orchestrate the grass like it was a band. We were standing on a small grass hill around that time, which was also when I had a peak experience. Answers I had been seeking flooded into me — maybe I was the black hole? Maybe we were all blackholes? 

I wasn’t thinking that^ at the time, but reflecting on it, that’s how it felt for me. Everything made sense in that moment. It was moments of deep, joyful reflections. An internal “Ohhh” about so many things—myself, people, nature, animals, societal norms and structures, time, and even about life itself. 

Pretty much anything I had ever wondered or worried about, was resolved. And at that time the answers were so much more simple than I was making them to be, or worrying about.

I really believe I was experiencing unconditional love, with myself and the Universe. We weren’t separate. There was no “you” and “me,” there wasn’t even an “us,” because it was all so beyond that, beyond any words.  

One of the realizations I had during that moment, was that “time” is not actually how I previously thought it was—measured and all that(seconds, minutes, hours, days, etc). I realized that it was so much more than the measurements we’ve given it as humans. “Time” was a construct. 

One way I’ve described this whole experience to others is that it’s like going back to when you were a child — there’s no labels and words for anything. It just all, is. And it’s all connected. You feel like you’re finally home, on the inside, ya know, because that’s ultimately where we’re all experiencing life from. Both the internal and external fused together.

“Psilocybin Black Hole” is an excerpt from My First Real Trip.
Join in on the 40+ comments on the full post here 😊

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Psilocybin Stories

Spontaneous Solo Psilocybin Trip

I didn’t plan on taking the mushrooms that night. I fell asleep around 9pm and woke up around midnight. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to take the mushrooms I had, nearly 3.5 grams.

I began with 1 gram, and started feeling the effects after 30-40 minutes. I then took another gram, and then 30 minutes after that I finished it off.

At that point I was feeling pretty great. I was in a state of trust. It was now 1:30am or so, and I was just tripping in my room.

I got on instagram & checked out some psychedelic art photos(and posted them to my story haha). The colors were vibrant. Good vibes for sure.

Then there was a video of a couple whales swimming in the sky, which I thought was fucking awesome. I watched it and it led me to wondering about whales and how they communicate, and that we as humans aren’t the center of the Universe — that we aren’t even the center of this Earth.

Then I went back to looking at psychedelic art, which inspired me to listen to music. I turned on Xavier Rudd. I love his music, especially when I’m tripping. Then I saw a trippy video which make me think of Octopuses and how they communicate. I know that Octopuses are super smart, I wondered what their world is like, and thought about how cool it’d be to communicate with an Octopus.

Then I thought about how Octopuses or other sea animals could be aliens, truly. Haha. It’s possible, but not definite. Just a thought.

Then I looked in the mirror and took some pictures of myself. My pupils were huge! Haha, my eyes were pretty much all black.

At one point in the night I turned off all the lights and laid in darkness for 30 minutes or so, opening and closing my eyes. It was so dark that it didn’t matter whether my eyes were open or closed, all I could see was darkness. I then waved my arms in front of my eyes, it was cool because I couldn’t see my arms at all, even with my eyes open, but I was moving them right in front of my face.

Laying in the darkness also reminded me that I want to get one of those trippy psychedelic light things. Then sometime later I got up and turned one light on. Yea, just one haha.

It may have been around this time, 2-3 hours into the trip, standing in the lit area, where I had a sort of out of body experience. I didn’t feel like “me” in this moment. I felt like I was outside of myself, watching myself, and it felt like that was who my true self is.

Some thoughts of life, death, &humanity went through my mind as well, and the fleetingness of it all sank in. It didn’t bother me though, it was just like a “oh, yea. That’s what this is.” And then I had thoughts about how life will solve itself, even though we humans go around trying to figure it out. I had the thought that we don’t need to do anything, and life will be okay, and that’s true, but since we’re here, we might as well do something. 

And I had the thought that we are all life, whole, one. But we often forget that. It really sank in that yes, life will figure itself out, and that we are life, so we can help ourselves figure ourself out, because it’s going to happen anyway. We’re all one. We are life. Everything is okay.

The idea that life is communicating with us sank in, and again, that life is us…

But yea that it’s always communicating in one way or another. It communicates in symbols.

I thought about how future human societies will most likely be vegan, if we make it that far.

I took pages of notes. On one page I wrote:

“Love=No fear-an absence of fear
= No judgement-an absence of judgement

This can all come down to “No-self” = an absence of self.”

(^I can dive into all this another time, or message me if you want to talk about this stuff)

But yea I thought more about my individual death, the death of me, and what that means. It seems we have a striving to live, but we don’t live forever. It’s hard to fathom living life in a different form whether it’s in the form of another person, animal, or environment, but I think that’s what happens when we die. The individual is gone, but the whole is always here. & that’s who we are, the whole.

Another note I took:

“In The End
it all works out.
So breathe,
don’t worry,
Do what you Love.”

I love many things, especially tripping & experiencing life. No one is completely perfect, but I hope some of what I do helps you and all who read this & takes part in Psilocybin Stories.

Which while tripping I did think of the PsilocybinStories instagram page and decided I want to make it more Nature-like, green vibes, water flowing, mushrooms growing, a growing community, which won’t be perfect as I struggle with trying to make things perfect, but it’s making progress, as we all are in some way.

Speaking of progress, I’d love to do this full-time – be a Psychedelic Investigator, experiencing and researching in the realms of the psychedelic experience.

You can help me do this with a donation, and as a gift I’ll send you my phone notes, about 1,700 words of notes taken during an up&down/heaven&hell kind of trip.

Donate here via PayPal, which also accepts credit & debit cards.

Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing more Psilocybin Stories.

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Psilocybin Stories

Follow The Psilocybin

What went from 2gs turned into my subconscious telling me to eat all I had, 7.6gs, that I grew with love, myself. 

I eventually felt my ego melt through my body, where I felt at true peace. No pain or fear, as I watched my hand disappear into light.

Coming down, I realized I wasn’t afraid or confused about this life anymore. I’ve never been more grateful or happy in my life. 

There’s so much more, but in a nutshell. Holy fuck.

This post comes to you from @_nakeyy ✌️😎🍄

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Psilocybin Stories

Psilocybin Remedy

My first mushroom trip, the night before my sons first birthday, changed my life forever.

I’ll never forget the way the moonlights reflection on the ocean formed into my sons ultrasound. It was a reality check to get my shit right or else I would fall.

Told me ‘fuck the self sorrow I need to focus and grind stop partying stop acting like I got all the time in the world’.

I had to go then the ultrasound changed to a white tiger something I seen in a dream once that scared the shit out of me and the drive had hit me 2 years ago still hasn’t slowed down 🤘🏽

This story comes to you from @prescibinpsilocybin ✌️😎🍄

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Uncategorized

A Potential Downside To Having No Fear

…Anyway, back to the story, us chatting, figuring out answers to the world’s problems…or just strangely talking about nursing homes.

We talked for 30 or so minutes on the rocks, then I wanted to walk around. I told my friends I was going to walk around, just nearby, and that they can chill here if they want, but they were like “yea we’re gonna walk around with ya.”

“Where are you going?”

“No idea, just walking. Again, guys, you don’t have to come. I’m not walking far.” 

But they insisted.

I led us away from the water, into open desert, toward the mountains, away from society. 

In this moment I was feeling whole with everything, connected&one with all things. I felt love and had 0 fear. All fears completely dissolved and it felt like unconditional love. I was open to whatever life may bring in this moment.

Usually I loveeeeeee that feeling, but here is an example, from a previous trip, that shows the possible negative side of this:

It was my fourth or fifth time tripping on mushrooms-in 2011 I believe. 4 of us were tripping-college friends. A few hours in, at like 11pm or midnight, we decided to go for a walk to some nearby woods. I was familiar with these woods because I had lived near that area for the past few years(college), and taken many walks in it. 

So, I was feeling fearless. We walk into the woods with no flashlights and no phone lights. Just darkness. There were no man-made lampposts or anything so it was pretty much pitch black. Our eyes did adjust somewhat after I forget how many minutes, but yea we could slightly see without any light.

After 10 or so minutes walking through the woods we see a campfire in the distance.

My first thoughts, and I said them out loud, were something like “we should say hi to them!”

One of my friends agreed, but the other 2 were like ehhhh, we probably shouldn’t do that. haha.

But I insisted, I thought something like ‘I’m sure they’ll love to talk. They’ll be so happy to see and talk with us.’ —but in reality, they were probably scared as shit. I was “no-fear” trippin.

So me and my one friend start walking toward the fire while the other two stayed.

As we got about 30-40 yards or so away, I thought I should gently, but loud enough, say something to the campers. We couldn’t see the people – only the fire and tents-we were somewhat far away, so we stop for a second and I’m like “heeyyyyy, hellllooooo” softly but loud enough for them to hear. We then saw the fire get put out so quickly before hearing tents zipping frantically.

And then it hit me, ‘oh yea, maybe this is weird. It is the middle of the night in the woods. We don’t have flashlights and we’re walking toward campers.’

So then I gently and friendly shouted something like “oh, uh, we were just saying what’s up, but we totally understand. Sorry about that!” We turned around and walk back to our friends.

Haha, yea, good times.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Now, 9 years later, I’ve acquired crucial experiences to prepare and cultivate empowering & safe trips.

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Psilocybin Stories

Psilocybin Insights Into The Indescribable

This post comes from an anonymous sender who had a profound experience with Psilocybin. The first few paragraphs give background on this writer, then you’ll hear about their psilocybin experience, including striking insights similar to things I’ve experienced while tripping. I love relating to all you psychonaut readers&experiencers! Enjoy the following trip 🍄🤪😁😎

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Hello there,

My name is not relevant here but I would like to tell you something. I would like to say straight away that I am trying to describe something indescribable. This is a contradiction in terms, but I am trying.

I wrote this text original a few days after the experienced trip.

To introduce myself briefly, I take a look at something. I have many siblings. I grew up on a mountain farm. Overall, I had a nice childhood, I would describe myself as nature-loving and curious. My worst experience was probably the unnecessarily cruel divorce of my parents and the experiences from that time. I like to go to the mountains and work with wood. The search for the meaning of life kept busy me, but only in moderation and sometimes in passing. I am married and have healthy and sometimes good children. I can count over thirty years in my life.

I like to travel and one of my most extensive trips until a day in Winter 2019 was, for example, a bicycle trip with my friend from home to the Caucasus. There we climbed the Mount Elbrus.

I consider the student days with my friends and the experience from them to be very important for me. I also made up for the agricultural skilled worker. I work as an engineer in the automotive business.

I have very good friends who I can and want to count among the most important companions on my way.

This very short and extremely incomplete outline should reflect me a little.

And even if I could, for example, fill a beautiful book with the mentioned trip to the Caucasus and its experiences, I would like to tell you about another, much more worthwhile trip.

Or maybe it’s only interesting for me, of course you have to make this judgment yourself.

This part of my trip started on a Winter day in 2019 in an ordinary living room with my friend and led me to the innermost timeless and spaceless.

First of all, so that you only think I’m as crazy as I really am or would be, I would like to note that I have witnessed some formative events such as near-death events and births of my children. In relation to the following experience, these seem to me like little crack on a bowl, which then broke open completely.

I and my friend, the travel companion, have been working intensively on mind-expanding mushrooms for a long time.

He much more than me, he developed the knowledge about it and let me participate. I think Paul Stamets was the trigger, who, like me, is now convinced that these mushrooms are not party drugs, but correctly used as a kind of aid. Here’s something to taste – (Joe Rogan&Paul Stamets video)

We both have moderate experience with hemp and, especially during our study time, a lot of experience with alcohol, but with drugs, I would like to say that we have nothing to do with it.

After studying books and reports from so-called psychonauts, this is a term that is typically used in specialist circles, and considering the risks, I decided to eat five grams of Psilocybe cubensis Golden Teacher with a little honey together with my friend.

Although we had read a number of testimonials and were roughly aware of how the psilocybin contained works, that it does not make you addictive, but tends to promote reflection and empathy, we would not have expected the following, with any fibre of our being.

And the name of the mushrooms, although it seems to describe the easy handling of the growth, says it all.

So of course, we went on a trip with our women after clarification. After ingesting the mushrooms, we went into a cosy room with some classical music and agreed that someone should check on us every half hour. Which then happened through my friend’s wife and an old friend.

Through our research, we knew that the trip would be over after 6 hours at the latest and that there would be no dependencies or physical damage afterwards. The worst to expect was a horror trip, which according to experience reports also harbours positive insights.

And now begins the part that is very difficult for me to put into words.

On the one hand, this is because words, by definition, can only be completely inadequate for something indescribable.

Secondly, my inability. I try anyway, just please be aware that this can in no way be modelled on words, words are something that we humans invented, so they are probably as imperfect, imperfect as everything we humans are and do.

So, we lay on the couch and listened to some nice classical music from an internet radio for the first hour. The psilocybin contained in the mushrooms and digested by the stomach docked in the corresponding places in my brain.

My body and mind, prepared by moderate fasting, catapulted me into different perceptual worlds.

At the beginning we were amused, but then my senses interweaved and the most incomparable trip of my life started.

I started to see very nice, cloud-shaped pictures on the white ceiling. These then gradually began to move to the music. We had more or less expected this because new paths were formed in the brain and it was already described that music can be seen, for example.

This was very nice and I started to reflect and relive the wonderful experiences of my life.

Time and space were about the same as before, but I got a lot of nice insights. My “seeing” was also not as visual as usual, but much more intense.

In the next stage, maybe a quarter of an hour later, my senses have almost completely dissolved and interwoven. And even though I was always approachable, I felt a little crazy about my original point of view.

I wasn’t exactly where I was before and I wasn’t exactly who I was either. I also wondered at this stage how do I know that I am, I am.

I also realized that my five senses so far only gave me a glimpse of life and the truth.

A friend came into our room and checked on us.

I told him that I couldn’t even describe in a whole life what I’m experiencing and seeing in a moment.

And by seeing I didn’t mean anything visual that is perceptible to the eyes. It was a different way of seeing, for which I already lack the right words. I reflected a lot back and forth and realized what was beautiful and enjoyed it. Although time and space were no longer the same as before, they were still there. I was born with every breath and lived through many lives. I could feel real empathy. It was very moving.

The next level was the most indescribable and so intense and real experience of my life. Time and space dissolved completely, I “was” a kind of perfect bliss and love in which souls touch.

And here I find it hardest to get any idea of it. Words, pictures, everything that is available to me as a person to describe it is completely insufficient to describe it. It’s also not true that I was there. There would be a place there, and it’s not a place. I wasn’t there either. To was there would mean a period of time, and it was not a period of time.

I don’t want to give it a name either, for me it cannot be associated with anything known, so I simply call it It, then you at least know that it is unimaginable.

I have learned that everything is related to everything. Everything is It and I am It too.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I also found out that I am nothing special as a person, or in other words just as special as anything else.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

My faith, my knowledge, my ego, I as a human being, everything in me, was dissolved and I experienced this completely indescribable perfect bliss and love.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Unfortunately, I can’t find any more suitable words to even begin to describe It.

I don’t want to describe the experience with I “was there”, but rather with I am It.

And that’s not a belief in it, but in my little transport container called the brain, certainty.

The further course of the trip was that I climbed one step down again. Time and space had not yet been opened up to me again in their current form. I then started to reflect on everything bad. My bad sides and mistakes, and the bad sides of the world that we have shaped as humans. That was not nice. I felt sick.

I wanted to know what I can or should do in my life. What’s the point?

I could not answer a single question about what I should or can do with completely right or completely wrong, I recognized my limited sphere of influence and my imperfection.

And although I felt through many lives there was no way to perfection. I asked myself the question of the meaning, I wanted to know what I should do with my new knowledge and experience or how I should continue to act as a person.

Everything was and is so imperfect compared to the experienced.

In addition, everything is connected, and I will soon travel through my life again with its limited sphere of influence. And I asked myself questions after questions, I probably had answers as well, but none of these answers led to the previously felt perfection.

I also knew that I would live my life more or less long. This has a sphere of influence that itself can be influenced, but is nevertheless always limited.

I also learned that we humans are only lives in the midst of life that wants to live. So just as special as everything else, to put it mildly.

For example, when asked if I should slaughter and eat animals, there was no clear or complete answer. I already know that billions of lives are killed in our bodies every second and a similar number are born again. This life, every single cell wants to live just as much as a cow, right? Should a killed life serve my food? So, should as many or as large a life as possible be protected?

Life always means death, but where does life begin?

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

None of my countless questions had a clear and perfect answer.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The great realization from this was that there is no perfect right or completely wrong answer to these questions.

But there are better and worse answers, with no definitive borders in between.

In this phase of the trip I learned what I should do for my life, what the meaning of my life is, which was previously beautiful but also imperfect.

The experienced “It” is everything and therefore also what is bad at the moment.

What is so logical, simple but also difficult at the same time and anyway the only thing I can do is over me. In two words: make an effort!

I should try, I will not make perfect decisions, but I can choose between better and worse. And for me, the better is preferable to the worse. And for the current part of my trip, I’ll try to do that.

Now I am here in front of my computer and feel sorry about my imperfection in translating and writing these lines with imperfect meaning. Lines which try to describe something indescribable.

But I try anyway because I think it makes sense. That the whole cosmos, every cell, life also make an effort.

I have the time as an aid.

I have no faith after this trip, instead I have certainty. I am It too and I try.

With love for my wife, my children, family, friends and everything else,

Me.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Join the Psilocybin Stories community by sending in your story to contribute!

Here we are on instagram too!

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Alaina’s Psilocybin Healing

Super happy to share Alaina’s Healing Psilocybin Story with you 😊🍄

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Disclaimer: There are Amazon Affiliate Links included for the books I(Alaina) recommend

I hadn’t planned on using psilocybin mushrooms for depression and anxiety. But as it happens with me and weed, things fell into place and it opened a path on July 4, 2019.

The deep stomachaches followed by shocks of nausea didn’t turn me off.

No, they led me to my second dive on Thursday, March 26, 2020. Because that “something” within me was craving release but couldn’t seem to get it right. Honestly, I was heartbroken and distraught that I had pushed away a guy I still like.

Especially because I felt it was “someone” doing the pushing.

It wasn’t something I rationally wanted. So what in the fuck was going on?? That was the turning point of going deeper into what I wanted to deny but couldn’t let go.

Childhood trauma had its grip on me.

Revelation: a major magic mushroom side effect

So I first tried shrooms on my own in an AirBnB in L.A. on Independence Day 2019. A friend in Portland gave them to me the day prior before I bussed down to North Hollywood. It was a gram and given the barrage of bull shit I experienced that year, it was time to see what the fuck was up.

I escaped depression on Christmas 2018 (what’s with me and holidays?) during an insightful edible high. But I managed to get sucked right back in thanks to a series of exacerbating events that dialed my anxiety to 1000%.

(This shit has consumed me for a year, so I’m not quite ready to go into the details.)

Ultimately, I ended up internalizing a lot of anger, frustration, annoyance and so many other emotions and the shroom trip gave me release.

I cried so fucking much.

But it freed me to move forward with certain decisions I was resisting heavily.

So with that in mind, I slid on down to shroom town. After reaching out to the plug, he hooked me up with some shroom shake and then I went to town. (I learned not to add that shit to oatmeal — almost puked!)

The water works ensued for hours upon hours and hours and then I was faced with I had been denying…

I was holding onto a lifetime of pain from my childhood and adolescent years.

An adult living with childhood trauma

I guess we all carry some type of trauma. After my older brother died back in 2013, I ended up moving back in with my parents. And since I was relying on them and we had suffered a loss, I figured it was time for me to well…

Get over it.

Unfortunately, trauma doesn’t work like that. As I’m sure many of you already know. But given the onslaught of adulthood and how badly I was adapting, I thought I’d just keep building myself. 

And it would possibly resolve itself?

I tested out therapy here and there, but nothing really clicked. But the internal struggles persisted.

Especially in my relationships with others. Even more so in my intimate relationships where I started off so confident and enjoying myself. Until deeper feelings happened and…

All of me would shut down. I’d pull away. My emotions would grow frantic. My mind would race and I never felt entirely safe despite my desire to enjoy the love. My love was tangled with pain that I hadn’t been able to cope with.

Pain from not just my parents being over-critical and putting too much pressure on me.

Pain from my older brother pushing me around.

Pain from being ignored by most of my teachers.

Pain from being made fun of and bullied from K-8.

I didn’t know what to do with any of this as a child. I didn’t know how to have friendships or maintain them. I just started deadening my emotions more and more to cope.

And as it goes with Bessel van der Kolk’s book “The Body Keeps the Score” and talk, all that internalized pain was coming out in ways my younger self couldn’t express.

Accepting my reality with Complex PTSD

Thanks to the shrooms release, I investigate childhood emotional abuse via the internet. Yes, a standard edition wise move by a 30-something millennial. I knew it was the move though.

Because I was avoiding even looking up this shit up. For years.

So on a whim, I hopped onto YouTube and looked up “childhood trauma.” And came across this lovely woman Anne of Crappy Childhood Fairy.

Now this part didn’t happen the same day. But it followed a few days of exploration after and… It truly unveiled the emotional trap within me. It gave a name to my struggle: complex PTSD.

YouTube being YouTube, watching her videos led me to childhood trauma counselor named Counselor Carl. Which helped me to accept the fear and shame that were trapped inside me for so long.

I’ve since taken up Anne’s method of journaling and meditating twice a day. And overall taking better care of myself to keep my brain from wigging out.

Outro: letting go

And there we have it! My second experience with psilocybin mushrooms and how a broken heart led me to facing an unavoidable truth.

Honestly, I feel like cannabis put me onto this path. Consuming that leafy green increased my physical sensitivities. And that meant I became more aware of the underlying unrest that I was feeling.

The pain needed release and I figured it was time to start letting shit go. Why did my inner child hold on?

Because she just didn’t know what else to do. I’m glad I get to nurture her into how.

Check in every Friday evening for a “Solitude, Craftsmanship & Weed” story.

Follow me on IG & TikTok @alainapowerchick and Twitter @alainaPWRCHK

If you’re an entrepreneur in cannabis and psychedelics, join my Biz + Chill Tribe email list for creative strategy insights and so much more.

Check out Alaina’s original Medium post and more from her here.

Categories
Psilocybin Stories

Alfredo’s Psychedelic Reflection

Below is Alfredo Avalos III’s reflection on his psychedelic experience.
All good, but I bolded some of my favorite sentences!
Enjoy.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You know a trip is just like any other physical trip you take.

Whether it’s the beach, a cruise, or shrooming in your backyard with a few friends. The trip will always be what lies within your own mind & soul. Whatever that may contain. Whether good or bad remains lingering, be certain of all contents in your carry-on. Cause any baggage you must bring, will be what is worn and on display during your stay. If you bring a nervousness or a worrisome mind, buckle up and wish you had left them all behind. 

You can deny yourself of the hurt in your mind, but when you’re shrooming, you will start to respect why you and all emotions need to coexist in smiles & cries. We neglect them as we hide, but they’ve been the essence from inside that leads our compass to determine which thoughts are to be left behind in life and which are to hold tight as we carry on for lighter life. 

These thoughts & feelings are the driving force that fuels the entire course of the trip, so if you’ve forgotten your respects at home, you’re in for a bumpy ride. 

Don’t deny the driver of its sight, especially when it’s also the decider of what is right in your mind. It will see you for all that you are. For whatever is lacking, will more than likely, be confronted in your journey. 

Even A bad trip has its good moments. At the very least, you get a humbling story that reminds you to laugh at yourself when you’ve made mistakes. 

Your friends will be sure to remind & enforce it whenever possible. 

Decide for yourself as to why You needed to go on both rides a second time. That ride that you never thought was for you, was actually what was missing, & all that you needed most. 

There’s beauty in those trips, and never was I the same person that had first approached-stumbling, without sight, thinking he knew how to make the best of his life..Maybe you’ll get it someday.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I enjoyed Alfredo’s reflection & hope you did too!

Check out Alfredo’s Instagram here & Stay Shroomin’ friends.

Categories
Psilocybin Stories

Shroomin’ Stan

One of the times I shroomed away, I had a terrible feeling of nauseous. Very common yes, but this time I felt like it was coming out and that I was gonna throw up, although nothing seemed to get past my throat. 

The feeling got uneasier by the second and I didn’t know what to do so I decided to eat a chocolate with pistachio. Stupid decision.

The dryness of my mouth didn’t suit the pistachio pieces and as I gasped for air, some pieces went inside and for a few seconds(which felt like eternity) it blocked my air passage. That was horrible! 

I was gasping for air almost thinking I’m gonna die. Time was too stretched. I panicked.

I’ve always had this phobia of having something stuck in my wind pipe, and then the shroom took me in my throat. It took me to the place where the pistachio was stuck, down my tonsils and in my lungs. 

I felt like I was in the brink of death, any moment and I won’t be able to breathe. I was alone but somehow as I felt like I was dying, I pushed deep from my lungs where I was hallucinating. 

It pushed out the pistachio piece and made me realize that even at the brink of death, we always want to live and we will give in our last energy to that. And I did. 

That trip went rather bizarre. But that journey deep into my own body was something I never experienced before. It eradicated a lot of my phobia. I realized I’m not gonna die from something stuck in my wind pipe. And the fact that I’m scared of it makes it self-fulfilling sometimes.

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This post was written by Chand, @psychedelistan on instagram. Thank you for sharing!

Send your psychedelic story to psilocybinstories@gmail.com!

Categories
Uncategorized

Acid Trips Anonymous

My first time taking blotter acid was blue unicorn.

I took it walking home from a small town outside of where I lived. There were no street lights so my eyes were strained. I started peaking halfway through the walk home.

I got just outside of my town when I saw two deer in a meadow on the side of the road.

A car came down the hill and sped past me. The deer got spooked by me and the car and ran out in front of the car getting hit.

One deer was screaming and other deer got hit in the head splitting its skull open and flung brains all over my pants as it layed flopping on the road. A car came in the lane I was standing as I saw brains and blood all over my shoes.

I ran home as the drunk driver tried to stop me. I got home and took my other hit thinking it would calm me down. I laid in bed petting my pillow because I thought it was my dog. I looked at my stereo clock it was 10 o’clock. I screamed and buried my head in my pillow seeing those deer over and over. 

I looked back at my stereo it was four in the morning and I was completely sober. The next day I went to where the deer got hit. They were gone but there were shot gun shells and blood all over the road. I always felt god was mad at me for taking acid so he gave me a bad trip.

Well I started taking acid when I was like 13 like 124 trips. It wasn’t long after I started having derealization. It came on so strong it felt like a bad acid trip that wouldn’t go away.

I suffered with it for ten years. During that time I had a head injury also which almost killed me. I was so delusional I thought everything was a dream like I couldn’t wake up.

Ever since then about 5 years after going through that I started getting really delusional and the panic set in. I couldn’t smoke dope anymore because I had such bad realizations of being in a dream it scared me.

For 23 years I was on medication in and out of hospitals, psychiatric wards. If I stop taking the meds I get super manic and delusional wandering the streets sometime bare foot. The cops have taken me to the hospital several times. I believe in psychedelics, maybe a sober person isn’t supposed to say that but they really do open your mind. But there’s also a downside for some people taking too much can permanently flip you into psychosis and cause a lot of trouble.

Art has helped me with a lot and I would of given up years ago if not for medication, the good will of people and art. I would never take drugs again because I can’t. For 23 years I took drugs and psychedelics. I’m not trying to preach – just don’t believe that there’s only a one sided positive side to everything, there’s a bad side to everything also, and if you’re not careful you could have short term problems and maybe even long term problems. But they do open your mind, they do help you self reflect but if you can’t control it please seek help.

I’m very disappointed with a lot of the popular visionaries only talking about the positive side I think it’s better to be honest and explain the pros and cons of everything.

I just believe all things are energy. Energy has a memory and consciousness therefore we are a projection of consciousness of the whole universe more of the universes imagination kinda like it’s dreaming us and our reality.

So the universe is alive – maybe a brain..that creature universe to me is what I consider god.

Everything is atoms. Atoms are energy. Positive force energy created by instability of negative energy. The universe is in a state of separation and resistance but it is seeking balance and harmony, and when it achieves balance there will be no need for separation or resistance. It will be in a state of oneness.

Find harmony with the whole and you will achieve what the universe is seeking.

I believe the universe starts off as balance, then it becomes unstable. It separates into light and dark energy then it tries to find balance again. Instability is separation and division and resistance. 

It’s obvious the universe is seeking balance and if we can help to aid it in its search for balance I believe our outcome will be favorable.

Add it all its part of my theory of everything that I’ve been sending to colleges and Nobel committee for the past 10 years. It all started when I took acid and wrote my first time theory at 13. I loved Einstein but I always thought he was wrong in some areas. The acid opened my mind to the akasha records and I was able to see the answers to the universe. It’s been a lifelong quest finding a theory of everything. I believe I finally achieved it.

The food we eat is energy atoms. Positive force is created by negative space instability. The negative energy becomes unstable and starts currents. These currents spin like pi spiral helix or the Fibonacci spiral. They expand out which is matter and they spin in which creates an inversion or space. So matter is a protrusion in a negative inversion.

Pi spiral helix out(matter) pi spiral helix in(space) two time factors – one is positive the other negative. It’s the only way time can work – the positive expansion of time and the slow negative incursion of degradation of time. In and out dynamic.

With balance it’s in a state of rest – no separation, no division, no need for time because time is directly linked to separation, mass accumulation, and the interactions of masses to each other. So time is mass accumulation in conjunction with acceleration and linked to other masses and space currents. 

Space creates positive force through negative instability. Negative space instability is created from a solid state of balance. Balance state separates from instability of its mass. Balance comes from nothing.

Nothing has the potential of everything. Nothing is nothing and something all at once and nothing is infinite.

If food is atoms and atoms are energy then your consciousness is an accumulation of energy directly linked to the energy inside and outside your body.

I wrote mit Harvard, Princeton, and Yale physics departments for 10 years with these understandings. There’s so much more but it would take a long time to explain. No one answered but they never blocked me so still not sure how much was actually read.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Thank you for reading!
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did from an anonymous sender.
Real & Raw.

Send questions and your psilocybin or psychedelic story to psilocybinstories@gmail.com

The world needs more of these right now🙏😎✌️

Love. Peace. Shrooms.